When I was in high school I chose the easy subjects, ones that I didn't really have to work hard to pass and this is exactly what I did, no work and just passed, no notable achievements what so ever. I did gain a place at university to study a Bachelor of Teaching - Primary, however this is where I came unstuck and for the first time in my life I had to work to pass. I discovered very quickly that I simply did not know how to study. I had no idea how to take lecture notes, write a university-level essay etc, I was out of my element. As a consequence in my 1 year at university I failed 9 out of 11 subjects and quit university. It was clearly everybody else's fault and not mine. :-)
Twenty years after I graduated from year 12 I am still in the same position, sort of. A few years ago I realised that my lack of any tertiary qualifications had made a massive dent in my self-worth and self-esteem. I know full well that having a Diploma or a Degree doesn't necessarily make you a smarter person, I know plenty of dumb people with Degrees, and it certainly doesn't make you a better person either, but I have always felt a huge disappointment within myself because I don't have a tertiary qualification of some kind. It was because of this that I decided to enrol in a self-paced, external Diploma course to become a Counsellor.
I chose to become a counsellor because a. I've had truck loads of counselling over the last few years and I know the game pretty well by now, lol and b. I love the concept that counselling is based on; the counsellor teaching the client skills to cope with their maladaptive behaviours so they can apply them to any situation. This is what I found so invaluable about my counselling; on any given day I could be taught whatever technique and I would then have this skill forever so I could apply it to a multitude of other everyday issues that crop up in ordinary life.
I chose to study a course that was self-paced and external because in my previous job I was doing shift work and while I had a set roster, I also made myself available for extra shifts when available, therefore if I had of locked myself into a classroom based course I would have not been able to take extra shifts. While I am very ashamed at how long it is taking me to complete the course, I'm not even going to reveal how long I have been working at it, I am proud to say that I am still working on it and I will never give up until I have my own Diploma of Professional Counselling. It is done through a series of workbooks accompanied by a book of readings, so you read the appropriate section in the book of readings then complete the section in the workbook. Once the workbook is complete you send it in for marking; it is returned to you marked either Complete or Not Yet Complete. With each workbook I get back marked complete, it is like I am adding a little brick to my wall of self-worth that I am purposely building.
I am trying to use the most of this time I have at home waiting for transplant so I am really concentrating on getting the work done. I was stuck on one question for months and I was so angry with myself when I finally rang the Institute and found out that you can get a tutor to work through questions with you. Doh! I had no idea that anything other than the phone based student helpline was available. What's my lesson in this? To ask for help when I need it, not 5 months down the track! lol.
love
Kylie
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