Old Friends and Karma

Recently I was catching up with an old friend whom told me how wonderful it was that two particular girls that we went to school with were still best friends all these years later, as close as ever. Whilst I know that I should be happy for them and wish them well, the thing is that these two particular girls, along with a few of their "followers," bullied me every day of high school and made my life absolutely miserable. Did they know what they were doing at the time? Yes, I believe they did, very much so. Their behaviour was very deliberate and targeted at me; at the time a chronically shy, introverted girl who couldn't look people in the eye. I was a classic target for bullies both male and female; I was not an attractive teen, I had frizzy hair, bad skin and a mono brow, and I had huge big boobs so these particular girls would bully me over how I looked and the boys would tease me mercilessly because of my boobs.

On a good day I would go to sleep at night thanking God that he had made me invisible that day and no one had threatened to bash me or yelled obscenities at me as I walked past them. Even though no one ever actually bashed me up, on a bad day I would pray to die in my sleep so I wouldn't have to go through another day of being told how ugly I was, how pathetic I was etc etc. I graduated from year 12 in 1992 so anti-bullying reforms were non-existent whilst I was being educated and it still blows my mind when I realise just what a devastating impact these bullies had on not only my day to day life growing up but the long term implications as an adult. These days being bullied isn't even an option in my life, I now have the confidence and self worth to stand up for myself however it was only a few years ago when I worked in retail that I was bullied by my supervisor and I can honestly say that being treated that way, I felt like I was 15 years old again. It had such an impact on my that driving home from work one day I was crying so hard that I actually reversed into a pole. Apparently studies have shown that people who were bullied as children are far more likely to be bullied as adults than others.

I'm not stupid enough to think that these two women haven't weathered their own storms through life since high school, everyone has a story, however the vulnerable part of me hopes dearly that karma catches up on these two eventually.

love

K