My Yukky Day

Well right now I am feeling totally inadequate and just plain D. U. M. B. 

Today I did my next assessment for my counselling course; I didn't feel quite as ready as I had hoped to but I knew that I knew my stuff so I was ready for the assessment. Well that feeling went downhill when my role play partner, a lovely lady called Sophia, arrived and as we chatted she told me that she is an experienced Life Coach and while she initially started her counselling Diploma several years ago, she has completed the majority of it this year and will have finished the entire thing by years end. And boy, did she know her stuff, she knew the modalities we were having assessed verbatim and knew how and when to apply them as well. Basically I was a total and complete  amateur  working with a complete pro and while she and the assessor Tina were wonderfully supportive, I feel that I looked foolish and unprofessional and basically made an idiot of myself.

Whilst I passed the assessment, therefore I am technically at the same level as Sophia as far as the counselling Diploma is concerned, I still can't help but feel totally behind the 8 ball in terms of my learning and retaining this stuff. I passed the workbook no problem, but it seems to me that I should be able to apply what I have learned far more effectively than I am able to right now. Tina said something wonderful, she said that I am at the level that I am supposed to be at for this section of my studying. That made me feel much better but the little voice inside my won't shut up shouting that I'm a loser and I should just quit now and forget about it.

I know, I know. Poor Kylie. Feeling sorry for herself and wanting to revert back to her old quitter ways. I'm just being a sook. 

Love

Kylie

Our Family Tragedy

Teddy when we visited him at the vet surgery the day after his operation

Last Monday we lost out beloved puppy dog Teddy; Brad and I are both grieving very deeply and badly for him. The Wednesday before he passed away Teddy was fine in the morning then after lunch he went downstairs to do his own thing. A couple of hours later he came upstairs all bloated in the tummy and acting very quiet and subdued, then he started to lie under the dining table, something Teddy only did when he was sulking, in trouble or not feeling well. I noticed that he has also done a runny poo so I went downstairs and found berries from the neighbours bush hanging over our fence again and I deduced that once again Teddy had eaten the berries, developed diarrhoea and now he had a stomach ache, just like he did last year. I picked all the berries off and thew them away, not thinking any more of it. Teddy just seemed to become more and more lethargic during the night and cried a little as he was going to sleep. I had to do some training for work the next day so Brad kept a close eye on him. After work I met my mum for lunch and Brad rang me frantically, urging me to get to the vet immediately; I sped there and was met by the wonderful vet Shane at Blackwood Street Veterinary Surgery whom explained to me that Teddy had a stomach x-ray and he had Gastric dilatation volvulus or bloat and it was a matter of life or death. Brad and I had to decide then and there to try surgery on Teddy where he didn't have a very good chance at survival and would cost a lot of money or have him put down. It was a no-brainer decision for us, on our side was the fact that Teddy was still walking which indicated to the vet that it was only a mild case of GDV so we loaded Teddy into the car and rushed to the specialised veterinary surgeon a couple of suburbs away. 

Teddy underwent surgery on Thursday afternoon, it took 2 hours and the vet whom performed the surgery finally rang us to say that Teddy had survived the surgery however some of his stomach had died off and had to be removed and his entire spleen had to be taken too, it could not be saved. Teddy was now doing well, no problems were detected with his heart and we just had to wait to see what would happen. He continued to improve and Brad picked Teddy up and brought him home on Saturday afternoon, he was still very doped up on the pain killers so he was even more vague than usual, lol. It was wonderful to have him home though and we were able to let out a sigh of relief thinking that we had our strong boy back and he would only get better from here.

Monday morning Teddy woke up perkier than every, he seemed to be back to old self and we took him for a ride in the car, which he loved, then after lunch he became lethargic again and vomited 3 times. We rang Shane our vet and he said that vomiting in itself wasn't something to be too concerned about when Teddy had just been through major surgery but if he got worse to bring him down to the surgery. He stayed about the same then Brad went out to the front patio where he discovered that Teddy had done a diarrhoea poo out there then was obviously extremely ill again. We hurried to the vet again and when we got there Teddy perked up again, he walked happily to the patch of grass at the back of the vets surgery and let Shane examine him and even take blood, he was such a good boy. Shane gave Teddy an injection to stop the vomiting and told us that the diarrhoea was a good sign, it meant that Teddy's intestines were working well, and since he seemed so much better we took him home again. 

We put him out into the yard where he lounged out in the sun like he always did and fell asleep, just like back to normal. I checked on him every 15 minutes then I let around 45 minutes go by before I checked on him again, thinking he was still sleeping in the sun. This time he didn't respond so I rushed downstairs and found him struggling to breathe and he couldn't stand up at all. I got Brad and he started to gather Teddy up while I got my bag and keys and rang the vet to let them know we were coming down again. By the time I got back downstairs Brad thought Teddy had passed away as he had stopped breathing. Finally Brad found a faint heartbeat so we sped back to the vet and Shane and the nurse Holly were incredible, Shane rushed out to the car and grabbed Teddy, I explained that we thought Teddy was dead but weren't sure and honestly, it was like an episode of ER, Shane and Holly worked so hard to save Teddy's life. Brad and I were able to be with him and we saw the extraordinary efforts they took; Teddy was intubated, given heart compressions and a shot of adrenalin in the heart but nothing worked. Finally Shane explained that there was nothing else he could do, Teddy's heart wouldn't start beating again and he was not breathing so he had passed away. 

It was heartbreaking, our beautiful, big strong fluffy boy just lay on the vets table, lifeless and limp with us all praying for a miracle, it was one of the worst times of my life. I've always thought that pet owners whom spend thousands of dollars on their pets as utterly stupid, a dog is an animal and apart from a show dog, no animal is worth that kind of money. But I have to tell you, seeing Teddy right then, I would have spent every last penny trying to save his life. Shane rang the surgeon who had operated on Teddy and conferred about the case and they suspect that Teddy had suffered two heart attacks, one just after lunch when he vomited and had diarrhoea then another when he was laying in the yard. Because Teddy's heart tests had come back negative after the surgery no body had any reason to suspect that Teddy would encounter heart problems so his passing was a complete shock to the veterinary staff as well as us. 

The last 7 days have been extremely difficult for Brad and I without Teddy, but the caring and support we have received from our family and friends has been so wonderful to us; it seems that Teddy affected more people than we knew he did. Brad took Teddy with him most places he went including while working with his personal training clients so we have had many people ask where Teddy is and then have to explain what happened to our boy. People seem to be really affected by his passing. 

Thank you to everyone whom has expressed their sympathy for our loss, we are still grieving and suspect we will be for a while yet however your words of encouragement and caring mean the world to us. 

Love

Kylie

Eating habits

Since transplant I have put on 8 kilos because of the steroids that I am taking and I am told that as I decrease the dosage of my meds, the weight will also decrease. However I am eating constantly and I had to have a procedure last week where I was hooked up to a little computer device and I couldn't eat between meals, which was really difficult for me as I am a grazer and eat all day. What I noticed was that I wasn't particularly hungry between meals but that  I wanted to eat; impulsively and habitually, so I'm now concerned that I'm developing some unhealthy eating habits. Let me explain; by impulsively I mean that I eat just because its there, not because I really want to eat but just because it was something to do and it was there. By habitually I mean that one day I picked up a bag of lollies from the petrol station, well I now feel a  craving for a bag of lollies every time I pass a petrol station.

And coffee, oh love of my life! I drink too much coffee, to me anyway and I thought about it today and realised its the fact that its a hot beverage that attracts me to coffee, it nourishes me unlike cold drinks and also drinking coffee makes me feel like an adult. When I was little my mum used to drink coffee in the morning so in my little-girl-brain, only grown ups drink coffee hence drinking coffee now makes me feel grown up. I know this all sounds silly and trivial but this is the kind of introspection and self-realisation that I thrive on.

I've never had a weight issue before, in fact I had the opposite; before transplant I was drastically underweight and had no appetite what so ever so I had to force myself to eat at all so eating like I am now and feeling as bloated as I do now is really foreign to me. Look, I know that 58 kilos is not overweight for my height, but I feel uncomfortable looking at myself in front of the mirror.

Love

Kylie

Introducing.............

My new Toastmasters club, Stafford Heights Toastmasters, held its 700th meeting on Wednesday night and it was a costume night; guess what I went as?? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I went as Batgirl!


It was a blast; we had a Queen of Sheba, the Mad Hatter, Bob the Builder, Dracula, a hippie, Bill Gates among others and the very best of all in my opinion, Chad Morgan whom simply wore a cowboy hat, a guitar and false teeth which changed the shape of his face and he speech, so simple but so effective! During supper break we feasted on a veritable smorgasbord of culinary delights all contributed by the members. 

It was a great night and it reminded me exactly why I love Toastmasters so much; fun, friendship and fellowship.

Love

Kylie