The Most Unromantic Night of my Life - The Night Brad Proposed

The night Brad proposed to me, what a night it was! He had picked up the ring from the jeweller during the week while I was still in hospital but he was under strict instructions to not propose until I was home again. I was discharged on Friday morning and guessing that tonight would be the night, I planned a special dinner to be proposed over, lol. Dinner. Well, in short, I ruined every single aspect of the meal. I put the vegetables in the oven then went to have a bath and shave my legs. A good deal of time later Brad called out that something was burning and we discovered that the vegetables were charcoal. Next came the chicken breasts in creamy green peppercorn sauce. I am told that I must have had the heat up too high because when I came into the kitchen to check on my delicious delights, the cream had split the curds from the whey and they had splattered onto the inside of the glass frying pan lid, looking very much like white diarrhoea, and the very overcooked chicken fillets were floating in whitish water. Gross.

Ever my hero, Brad proceeded to cut the burned bits off the vegetables and discreetly tipped the sauce into the sink while I went and got dressed up for the big moment. I came out of the bedroom looking ravishing in a lovely dress, hair done, jewellery on - that would compliment my soon-to-be engagement ring of course, only to find Brad had turned on the tv and we were watching "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" as we ate. Oh dear. We struggled our way through dinner when my stomach started making some very unladylike sounds. I had had a colonoscpy the day before and the nurse told me that I may still be a "little loose" the next day. Since I had poo'ed approximately every meal I'd eaten since my teens, I thought I was fine. Little did I know because my stomach got louder and louder and louder. Finally I ran to the toilet and proceeded to make some of the most un-godly sounds that have ever been emitted from a human being before. I was in there ages and when I finally came out Brad was standing there waiting for me because he was worried. I looked him in the eye and said, "Don't go in there."

Next Brad suggested we go for a family walk. Sure, why not? I was now as bloated as a 6 month pregnant woman and felt horrid but who could resist a family walk? I got changed into my oldest, most baggy trackie pants and a tshirt and we strolled to the park with Brad's skipping ropes he uses in his workouts. I say strolled to be kind to myself, I walk at a snails pace but not out of choice. We get to the park and go to the half basketball court and start mucking around skipping. Well, the best way to describe it is to say that Brad was showing off; I would do 2 skips then have a coughing fit but Brad would do 12 before he stopped. After a while I decided to show him how well I could skip so I got up and started to skip like the blazers. I was feeling pretty good, we were in a park on one of the busiest main roads of Brisbane with hundreds of cars whizzing past and I was skipping like a champion. Then it happened. My tracksuit pants fell down to my ankles. OMG. I was standing there in my knickers, tshirt and shoes. We both went hysterical laughing as I scrambled to pull my pants back up and we laughed ourselves silly. Which of course made me have a coughing fit and cough and cough and cough until I vomited up all of my dinner. It was then, sitting in the middle of the half basketball court, having just vomited, that Brad decided to do the deed. He took me in his arms, said many beautiful things then asked, "Will you be mine forever?" I gave an ecstatic yes then he took the ring out of his pocket and slipped it on my finger.

So there ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how Brad and I got engaged. A ruined dinner, some serious bowel upset, losing my pants and vomiting, it had it all. And I love him for every second.


love
K